


The First Wedding

by keepquietplease



Series: Sanders Sides First And Last Thing AU [10]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Cannibalism, Fluff, Multi, Non-Sexual Bathing, Smoking, Weddings, commitment issues, cursing, fuck you, like why wouldn't there be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:20:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26602069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepquietplease/pseuds/keepquietplease
Summary: The day came, and Virgil begins to doubt his willingness with commitment.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Everyone, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides First And Last Thing AU [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913083
Comments: 4
Kudos: 89





	The First Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> Rules for requests:  
> 1\. no incest, noncon, zoophilia, or underage (or vore. It's not a kink shaming thing. I just don't know what it is, and I don't want to find out)  
> 2\. no unsympathetic deceit unless everyone else is unsympathetic. I don't want to hate on my boy  
> 3\. I won't do sexual age-play. I will gladly show it as a coping mechanism, but I can't do it as a kink because that just doesn't make me feel right.  
> 4\. I don't think I need to say it again, but no RPF. Thomas will not be a character in this series
> 
> That's right folks. We're now taking smut requests as well as my usual 'you can request anything'  
> My only request is if you request smut, give me clear indications of roles. Who tops? Who does not? Who does both?  
> The next story is about Janus panicking about wanting to kill Virgil in this AU.

Virgil could handle commitment. Really. He could do it. He majored in photography and committed to that. That was something. Even if before that he kept switching majors and dropping out because he was never truly sure about what he wanted to do. It was fine. Sure, he broke up with each of his past relationships because he couldn't stop wondering if he really wanted to be with them, but Patton was different. They had been together for so long. He just needed to relax. He tried to by sitting on the fridge, biting his fingers, but Patton made him move. Janus didn't let him hide in the bedroom closet either, which sucked. Virgil was wandering the house all day, trying to find somewhere where he could think. The victim was tied up inside and Virgil finished making all the food, so no need to worry about preparations. The rings were polished and ready. They were just killing, kissing, exchanging rings, and celebrating. Simple shit. Maybe the act of marrying was making him nervous. He really didn't know.

"Virgil? Honey? How'd you get on the roof?"

Virgil was brought back to reality, feeling the surface he was sitting on. He was, in fact, on the roof of their house. He didn't remember climbing up there. Patton was standing under him. All his lovers were, he assumed, but Patton was the one who called out, so Virgil could really only guarantee Patton. "Oh shit. Okay, uh, I don't know."

"There's no ladders or anything. Did you just climb?"

"Um, I guess? Okay. I'm just going to fall down. The house isn't that high up. I'll break an arm at most."

"Oh my--just wait until we get a ladder--Virgil!" Patton didn't have enough time to react as Virgil just stepped off the roof, falling on his face. "Honey, are you okay?"

"Nothing's broken. Just bruised." Virgil stood up, brushing the dirt off his pants. He went back to biting his thumb, going inside. He grabbed his cane from the couch, making his way to the basement. He felt around, finding a loose floorboard and pulling it out. He used that space to store his laptop the first year, and he kept cigarettes for emergencies. Emergencies like marriage. He knew they wouldn't be fresh, but they weren't expired just yet. He grabbed the lighter, going back outside to light it. He heard a dramatic gasp from both of the twins.

"Where did you get cigarettes?" Remus asked. "That's not allowed!"

"I've had them from day one." Virgil lit it, taking a drag. "Helps calm me down. I would smoke when I was sure Patton was asleep. The place I hid it in is full of butts. Started buying more when I was allowed to leave."

"Don't you use weed?"

"Sure, let me just get high before I get married."

Patton plucked the cigarette from his mouth, kissing his nose. "I'm disappointed, but I'm not shocked."

"Can I have it back?"

"What's on your mind?" Patton put it back in his mouth. 

"I'm making a very big decision, and I'm nervous. I just need this before your family gets here. I promise I'll only have one."

"I'm not drawing the line at cigarettes. You can smoke."

"Oh thank fuck. I've been hiding them and smoking when I was alone. Gets annoying having to sneak out in the middle of the night to smoke."

Patton sat on the porch, pulling Virgil on his lap. He kissed his neck as Virgil kept smoking, letting the nicotine calm him down. He shifted as Patton sucked on his pulse point, spreading his legs slightly out of instinct. He laughed at that, biting the spot. "Oh, we have you trained."

Virgil hit his arm, smiling. "Excuse me sir, we are at a formal event. We're not here to see how well I respond to you. We're here to get married."

Patton left a mark, moving down. "We can do both. My parents aren't getting here for a bit. We have time."

"Not if I want to wear this outfit, we don't. Stop leaving marks."

"You could wear a scarf!" Roman pointed out.

"Or take off your clothes and let him mark you further down." Logan sat next to them, watching Virgil take another drag.

"Nope. I should go make sure all the food's ready. I don't want anything out of place."

"You already did. Multiple times." Janus said, taking the cigarette and putting it to his lips. "Mm, judging your taste in cigarettes."

"Then give it back."

It was placed back in his mouth. He liked his brand. He kept smoking as they continued their conversation. He was getting nervous again, chewing at the end of his cigarette. He put it out once it reached the filter, but he continued to bite it once it was out. He pushed his luck too much, accidentally eating the butt. He coughed once it went down his throat, making Patton tighten his grip.

"Fuck. That hurt. Okay, I'm good. I'm going to check on--"

"Virgil, honey, we don't need to get married. You're so stressed."

"No, I want to. It's just a big step, and I'm scared because it puts more responsibility on us. I'm just very bad at committing to things. I know how to make it better! Patton, threaten to kill me."

"I mean, I will, but I don't want to scare you into marriage. Why does it worry you so much?"

"Like what happens if we get divorced? What if I decide later on that I'm not actually into being a husband? What if you decide marriage isn't a good fit?"

"Then we stop being married. I mean, it's easier for us. We're not going to be legally married. We can stop at anytime and just have matching rings."

Virgil nodded, leaning against him. "Thanks. Sorry for freaking out."

"It's fine. No more panicking. Only happy thoughts. By the end of today, we'll be doing our usual routine of cuddling and talking. I'll just be extra affectionate because I have the opposite reaction to weddings. I'm going to carry you into the bedroom bridal style. Lots of kissing. I'm going to praise you a lot tonight. It'll be a heightened version of our usual thing."

He snorted at that, kissing the edge of his love's lips. Then he heard a car pulling up to the house, breaking sticks as it moved closer. Virgil got off of Patton's lap, not wanting that to be his first interaction with Patton's mothers to be him on top of their son. Patton immediately pulled him back, wrapping his arms around his waist. He kissed behind his ear as the car door opened.

"Patton! Hello! Oh, is this the lucky man?" Virgil noted that the speaker sounded like Patton but an octave higher. "I'm Miriam. This is my wife Sharon. Sorry we're late. We had to pick a wedding gift, and our Patton refused to tell us what you liked! We got you some candles that smell like vanilla and lavender."

"Thank you," Virgil said, smiling. "I love candles."

"Oh thank goodness. We were so worried you wouldn't like it!" Another voice said as the car door closed. Sharon. "Oh, dear, you look nervous."

"Don't point that out." Miriam hissed.

"It's fine. I'm just excited. I spent all last night and today preparing food. Patton helped me when he could. I'm sorry if anything is overdone."

"Don't be sorry, dear. I'm impressed you prepared everything! Oh, do tell us how the two of you met."

Virgil felt his body get tense, turning to Patton. "You want to tell them?"

"I kidnapped him and kept him hostage for a year before we fell in love. Stole him from a bus. We started our relationship after killing his family. I sort of gave up being his capture after that. We started being lovers the second his old house burnt down. He's dating all of us, but we're getting married. Isn't he cute?" Patton squeezed Virgil's face. "I love you."

"I love you too. May we take this inside? It's rather cold out, and I set everything up inside."

Patton pressed a kiss to his lips before taking everyone inside. Virgil was only mildly worried about the way everything turned out. The house was clean, not a speck of dust anywhere. There was a whole section wrapped in plastic where Virgil's old professor was tied up, still drugged out of his mind. Virgil nervously served hors d'oeuvres. He wanted today to go right. He was extremely disappointed when he had to turn down seeing Patton's baby pictures since he couldn't see them, but he assumed Patton was adorable. Miriam and Sharon were very kind to him, which he appreciated. Once the actual ceremony began, he lost any worries he had. Patton took his hand as they held a knife together, stabbing the victim as a pair. They pulled out the intestines together, Patton whispering that they'd save it for later. Virgil loved him. Virgil felt confident that he was in love with his husband as they exchanged rings. He knew then and there he was happy. They took the body outside, and Virgil began to call his crows. They've gotten used to the taste of human flesh, so they quickly swarmed. They gave Virgil stones, some keys, and two bracelets. He gave them all pets before going inside, followed by one or two crows that were more concerned with being near Virgil than eating. He managed to convince them to sit at the door so they didn't disturb any guests.

Then he was given a familiar card. He was really lucky that Patton apparently learned braille to make a special business card for him. 

"Now, I'm aware you've been with me for a long time. We just never invited you into the family professionally." Patton said, rubbing his thigh. "You should've been invited ages ago, but I thought our marriage would be the perfect time to welcome you."

"Oh wow. Imagine if this was all a ruse." Virgil kissed him quickly. "Thanks Pat."

"Of course. Also, if this was a ruse, you killed so many people. This is a terrible ruse. You'd have to turn yourself in."

"Yeah, true. I'm honored. I love you."

"I love you too."

Virgil kissed him again, content.

* * *

"I love you so much. You were so pretty killing today."

The guests had long since left. Virgil put the food in the fridge and the body into a cooler in the basement. Patton delivered on his promise to carry Virgil into the bedroom, showering him with kisses the whole walk there. He was placed gently in the bed as Patton kissed him and slipped a hand up his shirt, sliding his tongue into Virgil's mouth. He pulled away to stare at his husband, basking in Virgil's smile and soft breathing.

"Are you happy to join our family?" He asked, running his hand up and down.

"I am. Sorry, can I just freak out for a minute? Not to stop your A plus seduction, but holy shit Patton."

Patton moved back, letting Virgil sit up.

"I have been studying you all for years. Since I was old enough to reach the radio my parents had. I obsessed over your initiation process. You were so odd with it. Why did you ignore certain killers? What qualified your choosing? I was invited to play with you when I was four--terrifying knowing how you killed as a kid--and I had your business card for years before my siblings destroyed my journals."

"Aw, you had journals I didn't get to read?"

"My school psychologist was part of your group. He and I talked about your group for hours because I was obsessed. He was part of your group!"

"Doctor P, yes. I liked him. He'd bring me friends to play with. I miss him."

"And now I'm part of the family."

"Yes."

"I'm about to cry."

"Wait, no."

Virgil rubbed his eyes, smiling. "I'm so happy. I can't believe I made it here. I wanted to for so long. This is my princess moment. I made it. I shall now die by my crows."

"Aaaand we're putting an end to that. I will call you princess, but no talking about dying."

"Don't call me princess. I would rather eat a live pig."

Patton kissed him again, pulling him back down. Virgil tangled his fingers into Patton's hair, smiling as he pulled away.

"How long do you think the honeymoon phase will last?" He asked.

Patton hummed, running his hands down his darling's legs. "I think maybe a month at least? This is a big deal for me. I think I'm going to be super affectionate for awhile. I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

There was never a moment the two weren't attached. Two months had passed, and any moment the couple wasn't kissing, they were holding each other. Murdering people was fun. They'd take longer now, getting distracted by one another, but they killed together now. Virgil was learning how to switch body parts like Patton did. He was working on a new subject as Patton kissed his shoulder.

"Oh fuck. Did I do the stitch right? It feels wrong." Virgil gripped the person's kidney, listening to them scream.

"You're doing fine. Just undo the stitch and try again. Want me to undo it for you?"

"Yes please. I'll lick the blood off your hands for you."

Patton kissed him as he undid the stitch easily, relishing in the cries of disgust from their victim. He pulled away, placing his fingers at his mouth. Virgil accepted them quickly, sucking the blood off as he redid the stitch. He got it right this time, beginning to cut out the stomach. Patton pulled his fingers out, poking his nose. "Want to keep the stomach for eating?"

"I could make a nice tartare out of this. Think the twins would like it?"

"I think they'd just be happy to see you again. I've been keeping you to myself for awhile now. I'm sure they all miss you."

"Has it really been that long?"

"Mmhm. I think Janus calmed down from wanting to kill you. I'll invite them over next week. Wanna keep you for a little longer."

"You could always lock me up. Keep me hidden away for your own use."

They kissed again, pausing their work. The person couldn't really move at this point, so they could afford such distractions. Patton brushed over his jeans, mumbling praises as they continued. Their victim screamed they were fucked up. It made the two pause before Patton bit his shoulder. He slipped a hand up Virgil's shirt, pinching his stomach gently. "Want to hear how I can get rid of those vocal chords, baby? You can give it a try as I'm speaking, but it's a difficult procedure. You might accidentally kill the patient."

"I would love that. Would you be mad if I mess up?"

"Only if you want me to be."

"Alright, so how do we do it?"

Patton directed him carefully, nipping his shoulder when he messed up. The victim died about half way into the procedure, making Virgil pout. He pulled his hands out of the body, licking them free of blood and bits of body parts. Patton went to bury the rest of the body as Virgil did clean up. Once Patton got home, they took a bath together, still sharing kisses all the while. 

"You did such a good job." Patton mumbled against his lips, pulling him closer. "You're getting better with operations. I think you'll have a successful one next time."

"I switched his kidneys successfully today. Only one mess up. If I didn't try the new procedure, he would've lived."

"Until we killed him."

"Yes. Until we killed him. That would happen eventually. I'm going to make some dinner with the leftover intestines once we're done bathing. What do you want to eat?"

"I'll make some pasta to go with it. I want to try your food."

"Really?"

"I'm not changing my diet completely. I'm just trying it."

"You don't have to." Still, as he said that, Virgil looked so excited that Patton wanted to try it.

"I'm going to. I may not like it, but I'm still going to try it."

Virgil kissed him slightly rougher, climbing onto his lap. They kept kissing until they had to pull back for air, overjoyed. Patton pulled the drain, getting out and dressed with him. They went to the kitchen and started on dinner. They remained connected, fingers linked together as they cooked. They kept the meat separate, just in case Patton didn't like it, and served the meal. Patton made a face and a noise of disgust, making his love laugh. He gave the rest of his meat to Virgil, shaking his head. He couldn't get past the knowledge that it was a person, so he couldn't stomach it. That was fine, and Virgil just smiled and kissed his hand as they continued to eat.

Truly, he was fine with commitment. 

**Author's Note:**

> Author Fact: I ate kimchi ramen whilst writing.  
> I'm running out of facts, but also I wanted to share how much I love the stuff even if it's the college student stuff and not the real thing. Oh, also, my university has the acronym AU which is fun.


End file.
